How can it be when I’m in paradise? The dogs may be the only ones who know. It’s rarely spoken of among the training warriors…It’s okay to be homesick, right? I always dreamt of the day I could began my travels and I knew I would miss my last home, I just didn’t know it would be this hard.
As the excitement of being in a new place wears off I’m starting to realize nothing in my life is the same as it was before. I cherish my morning time. Putting on my music, starting a pot of coffee, and finding my center before I have to interact with anyone else. It takes a lot of mindfulness to be this extroverted all the time. My daily music intake has decreased by 80%. The farm provides us with a vegan diet with the exception of raw milk and fresh eggs. I thought I had a fairly healthy diet before with no red meat, limited soda, and greens everyday. Yet, my mouth has been watering with the thought of french fries. We’re also a couple dirt roads and right turns outside of town. This is quite the change from living above an art studio in the heart of downtown Mankato. My cellphone service is limited to the occasional text message and random snapchat notification that I can barely reply to or view. It’s starting to take a toll on me, I think.
While the other training warriors went to the Farmers Market, I chose to hang back to find some clairty (and stream music while no one else is on the wifi). We’re a village here. We cook our meals together, work together, learn together, and even sit in silence together. But, I feel that when I am surrounded by many active minds it’s hard to listen to my own. I haven’t felt this silence in my heart and mind in many days.
I’ll need a new morning routine. My quiet spot is no longer my purple comforter and closed door. But, I still have my coffee. Waking up and finding a quiet spot removed from the living area will do me well. Maybe, out near the duck pond or in my hammock. As for the decrease in my time spent finding new music, I should use that extra time to really start learning the Uke. As for my diet, there’s nothing wrong with a Dr.pepper now and again. While one of my goals on the island was to start a healthier lifestyle, there is no need to stress myself out. Comfort food is real. As I get to know everyone on the farm on a deeper level, it won’t seem so far away from everything else. As for the cell phone service goes, I break for lunch at 1:30pm (6:30pm MN time) and go to bed about 9:00pm (2:00am MN time). I wouldn’t mind hearing from my loved ones, send me a text and I’ll give ou a call about those times.
If you have a moment, give the song Home Free by Wookiefoot a listen. Music speaks the words I can’t find.